I know Memorial Day is usually for remembering those who fought so bravely for the United States in so many wars.
But I got to thinking that it would be great if we could remember other
souls in need too, especially innocent children who suffered the
ultimate fate.
Such a person was Phoebe Prince, a joyful 15-years -young girl from
Ireland who was bullied to death at her South Hadley High School in
Massachusetts.
The face and the memory is starting to fade and the great American media
circus has moved on from Phoebe and her family, but somehow I cannot
forget her.
She died too horribly, taking her own life after two separate gangs of
bullies taunted her daily, threatened her, made her life miserable until
she could not take it any more.
The sad part is that the adults in charge of the children come out hopelessly compromised too
Teachers saw the bullying and ignored it, the school board washed their
hands of it, local parents tried to rumormonger that Phoebe was unstable
to begin with.
Yet a brave District Attorney stood up to the see no evil adults and has
now begun a prosecution for bullying a young girl to her grave.
There will be a trial in a few months of those who allegedly bullied her
to death and the media carnival will come to town again.
Most importantly thought, three parents of bullied children elsewhere
have come forward since Phoebe died and stated that having read about
Phoebe they believe they stopped similar suicides among their own
children.
So just as much as the example of our honored dead on battlefields from
Iraq to Europe inspire us today, so should the message of a dead young
girl from Ireland resonates.
That message is that we should say never again and truly mean it. Our children's lives are sacred. Originally published in 2010.
It was heartbreaking to watch Anne O'Brien, Phoebe Prince's mother give her first TV interview on the CNN show Piers Morgan Tonight.
Dressed in black, she was clearly still deeply grieving for her 15-year-old daughter who was badly bullied and committed suicide in January 2010 after moving to Massachusetts from Ireland and attending school at South Hadley High.
At several points in the interview there were tears in her eyes and a hesitancy in her answers.
She retained a dignified presence but clearly the death of her daughter has changed her life forever.
As she has said about Phoebe “It is impossible to measure the impact of Phoebe’s death upon our lives, “There will be no more reading to Phoebe, no more hearing her lovely soprano voice.
“How do you measure a future that should have been rightfully hers? Phoebe was a beautiful, intelligent, gregarious daughter, with a kind heart, able to show compassion for others.
Asked by Piers Morgan if she hoped that Phoebe's death changed anything she said;
"Ideally I'd like it to be that children treat each other in a more civilized fashion but I'm not too hopeful about that."
"I think to say oh yes, everything is going to be different to each other because of Phoebe is naive.
Last May, five former South Hadley High School students – Ashley Longe, Flannery Mullins Sean Mulveyhill, Kyla Narey and Sharon Velazquez – were found guilty of misdemeanor counts in the Prince bullying case.
"It's - that level of aggression towards another human being is just beyond my understanding," she said.
"It was almost planned.
"It is astounding that there never was a stop mechanism..an internal stop mechanism for some of tese kids to say this is going too far.But I also think the culture in the school helped enable that."
However, she said that the new bullying legislation, known as Phoebe's law, which mandates that schools treat the issue far more seriously, will be her daughter's legacy.
She paid a moving tribute to former DA Elizabeth Scheibel who pursued the bullying charges and forced a trial for her role in that and the new Phoebe law.
But she had contempt for school authorities who allowed the bullying to continue.
School Superintendent Gus Sayer was especially responsible.
"It was very painful because you realize as a parent no matter what I did, no matter how many times I called the school, no matter how many people I might have spoken to there, that she didn't stand a chance there."
“The school personnel will never be held accountable,’’ she previously told the Boston Globe . “It’s unfair.’’
She also drew differences between the defendants and their reaction to Phoebe's death.
"All we ever wanted,’’ O’Brien has said is “For these kids to take ownership of what they did, and to show genuine remorse."
Some clearly did, some did not.
They can get on with their lives, but it is clear Anne O'Brien is stuck in a lonely devastating place.
By telling her story last night however, she once again helped children everywhere who are being bullied by coming forward and focusing on an issue that needs to be addressed.
