On reaching the ripe young age of 59 -- Who is that guy in the mirror I wonder

I woke up yesterday morning to discover an impostor.

I gazed in the mirror on my 59th birthday and realized I had been hijacked.

The grey haired, balding guy in the mirror with too many wrinkles and a paunch had clearly been foisted on me overnight.

The sleek, handsome as hell, gazelle like guy I went to sleep as had disappeared.

This has happened before but seems to get worse every birthday.

It is high time I reported it to the time police.

“Shurely Shum Mistake," I’ll tell them in my best Irish drunk imitation.

They, no doubt, will assure me they will investigate this impostor and have him arrested at their earliest convenience.

I’ll tell them I’ve noticed him skulking around since I was about 40 and the first grey hairs appeared.

“Yes sir, you can be sure, we know who he is we’ve seen him in action before.”

“Thank you officer," I’ll say.

I hope they put him away for a long time.

The thief of time is well known around these parts.

But I never thought he’d attempt to infiltrate my home.

There must have been an open door or window in my soul that he climbed in.

He’s clever, I never see him until I look in the mirror.

Clearly, he disappears at night and my true self returns.

Not next year though I’ll be ready for him.

Maybe in a butterfly net I’ll catch him.

Now there’s a thought.

Lock him up for everyone to see officer.

Homer Simpson for Irish President

Posted by Niall O'Dowd at 3/19/2009 4:24 PM EDT

So, more than 500,000 Irish people tuned in to see the Irish episode of "The Simpsons" on St.Patrick’s Day.

Called "In the Name of the Grandfather," it portrays Homer and company heading back to the Emerald Isle while searching for their roots.

Let's put this in context:

500,000 in a country of four million is 8 percent of the entire population. No other show in the past ten years, especially one on a cable channe,l even comes close.

So, here’s my suggestion. Let’s run Homer for President of Ireland. He’s over 35, and now that he can claim Irish citizenship.

It’s a no-brainer really. Which will suit Homer, because he doesn’t have one to begin with. The race is set for 2010 and right now, he’s a shoo-in with this kind of massive support.

I’ve even got a slogan: "Vote for Homer, he’s no informer.”

Seeing as informers are hated more than anyone else in Irish history, all he needs to do is accuse his opponent of informing about something ... say when he/she told on his kindergarten friend who wet his pants. It's easy to do and no opponent could withstand such a devastating charge.

It'll all work, and Homer can be at the White Houses in 2011 with Barack.

Sounds cool.